The Voice Inside My Head

After yesterday's sad-filled post, I thought I'd lighten things up around this ol' blog. Why don't we talk about something fun?

THE VOICE INSIDE MY HEAD! 

Okay, so let's backtrack a little.... You guys have seen the movie Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, right? If you haven't here's the basic premise: 

Harrison Ford + Nazis + Blimp + Mission to find the Holy Grail

So, near the end of the movie, Harrison Ford finally meets an eight-hundred-year-old knight who has been tasked to protect the Holy Grail. The knight shows Harrison & Co. a cavern full of golden goblets and bowls, telling them that they must choose the right one. The true grail shall grant eternal life while the false grails shall bring...DEATH!

Anyway, this rich guy steps forward and chooses a jewel-encrusted cup, which he promptly drinks from to gain immortality. And this happens to him: 

Then the old, old, old knight pipes in: 

Yep! Awesome! Indiana Jones = One of my favorite movies. 

(Also, I think the real line is "He has chosen...poorly." But I'm taking liberties for the sake of this post.)

So...back to the topic at hand...

Sometimes, when I'm out and about, I seriously hear this old knight's voice in my head, chiding me. Really. 

Like, when I switch lanes to drive a little faster but then I proceed to crawl at a snail's pace. 

YOU HAVE CHOSEN...POORLY! 

Or when I buy a new brand of hummus but it's not as good as my old brand.

YOU HAVE CHOSEN...POORLY! 

Or when I decide to eat cake for dinner and a Cinnabon for dessert (and ice cream for second dessert).

YOU HAVE CHOSEN...POORLY! AND UNHEALTHILY! 

Haha. 

Yeah. 

I promise you I'm not crazy. 

I'm just...obsessed with Indiana Jones? 

And, hey, at least the voice in my head isn't saying Fuggetaboutit or STELLA! or May the odds be ever in your favor. 

Although would it be such a bad thing to hear Hunger Games lines in your head? 

:)

Missing Aimee

Today is the three-month anniversary of my sister-in-law's passing. 

I miss Aimee. 

I miss her friendship and her support. I miss her laugh, her high-wattage smile. 

I mourn that I won't see that smile again. I mourn over a friendship lost. I mourn that she won't be there to see her daughter grow up, and that she won't be a part of my own children's lives. 

I mourn her. I miss her. And I love her for having been the very best sister to my husband and the very best sister-in-law I could have asked for. 

Sometimes, I still feel angry and sad and frustrated about Aimee's death. Today though, I am grateful for Aimee's life. For her optimism. For her strength. For the example she set for me and for all those around her. 

She was the best person I knew, and I'm so very thankful that I got to be part of her too-short life. 

{Photos courtesy of Pat Rhoads}

Those Pesky New Year's Resolutions

I'm pretty bad at keeping my New Year's resolutions.

Go to the gym every day? Ehh, I'd rather sit here on the couch and...exercise my eyelids.

Eat healthier? Oh, look! A block of cheese! ALL FOR ME.

Keep in better touch with friends? *Distracted by shiny things* *Feels guilty*

Hmm.

But I really have been trying to keep my resolution for 2012, which is to find more peace in my life.

Namely...

To stop and breathe when I get overwhelmed and to be grateful for the things I have
To speak up, to communicate, whenever I get frustrated/angry/sad instead of bottling things up
To spend quality time with the ones I love and to delve into new activities that make me happy
To enjoy my writing--'cause what a fun profession it can be!--instead of dwelling on my failings

So, lately, I've been trying to figure out photography. It's a hobby I've wanted to take up for years and, yes, I've become one of those annoying people who tote around my camera wherever I go. Still, I like being annoying! And I love capturing moments of daily life--moments that would flutter away otherwise.

{My fab friend Allie and me}

{Eating lunch with my dad and grandma}

Not the best photographs art-wise! But these pictures show the people I love so that's what counts, right?

I've been lucky enough to spend time with my best friend Allison in the last couple weeks. We met on the first day of seventh grade (I was the new girl at school) and we've been crazy, giggly friends ever since. Nowadays, Allie lives in San Francisco but we get to see each other a couple times a year, which I look forward to more than Cadbury Mini Eggs. (And I have a deep abiding love for Cadbury Mini Eggs!)

I've also been spending more time with my paternal grandmother, my NaiNai. She's turning 89 this year and she isn't as as mobile as she used to be. So...she wants to hire me as her maid! Haha, isn't that hilarious? I would never let my grandma pay me for housekeeping--I mean, she changed my diapers as a kid!--but I still chuckle at the notion.

Anyway, I know I have a lot of room for growth when it comes to my 2012 New Year's resolution but I'm trying to keep at it--and I think it's making a difference. At least, I'm feeling the difference.

Yay for peace and friends and grandmas!

Hey, look! My friends write books!

Ahem! Please pardon the cheesiness of this blog post title.

(But it rhymes! I couldn't resist!)

Yesterday afternoon, I ventured to the adorable indie bookstore One More Page to attend a signing with Miranda Kenneally and Jessica Spotswood. Miranda wrote the YA contemporary novel Catching Jordan while Jessica wrote the YA fantasy-with-an-alternate-history-twist Born Wicked.

Both books = AWESOMENESS!

(Awesomeness is not a word but it is sure fun to say!)

{Miranda and Jess read excerpts from their books.}

{Lynn Colt, Miranda, Jessica, Me}

In some ways, this signing was a bit surreal to me....

'Cause I remember reading an early draft of Born Wicked, back in February '11, and I thought to myself: This book is going to sell. I love it so much, and it features such a strong heroine who girls should look up to. Fast forward to now, Jess has toured the country to promote Born Wicked and here she is fielding Q&A sessions at a book signing!

And I remember reading an ARC of Miranda's book Catching Jordan back in September '11. I thought to myself then: This book is laugh-out-loud funny and so incredibly well-written. And it features such a strong heroine who girls should look up to. Fast forward to now, Miranda has appeared on TV shows to discuss her novel and she's already working on her third manuscript for her publisher.

It's amazing how much can happen in the span of a year or even the span of a few months. And I can't be prouder of Miranda and Jess, who have worked so hard for their success and who have written two amazing protagonists who are strong yet vulnerable, capable yet flawed, and just completely real.

Brava, ladies!

On a related note, the bookstore presented Miranda and Jess with bottles of champagne after the signing. How awesomely nice is that?! Lynn and I totally looked at each other and said, "If we ever get our books published, we're coming here ASAP!"

Ah, free stuff.

:)

Weekend Wrap-Up

Ah, man. Monday, already? This weekend went far too fast! 

Yesterday morning, I curled up on the couch with a bowl of scrambled eggs mixed with bacon, scallions, and low-fat sour cream. Um, it's sort of delicious! And not very good for me! But calories don't count on Sundays, right? 

Maybe?

Anyway, on Saturday afternoon, the weather peaked in the mid-60s so I headed over to a local garden to snap some pictures with my new camera. *Hugs camera* I was pleasantly surprised to find a few of the cherry blossom trees in bloom! This means spring is almost here. Hopefully.

{Cherry blossoms in bloom!}

{Spring must be around the corner.}

Suffice to say, I'm super ready for winter to retreat back into its cave! I want to wear skirts and shorts and flowy dresses. I suppose I shall pray to the Weather Gods.

The rest of the weekend was spent revising and reading, namely whittling down my library pile. See, I'm trying to cut back on my book spending, mostly because I could spend $100 a day on books if I let myself. Also, I've bought some lemons in the past and that makes my brows furrow like this...  >: (

It's no fun getting all excited about a book and buying it and then...that awful disappointment. And hey, books ain't cheap! 

{The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight} 

{The Hunger Games}

I've been re-reading The Hunger Games (yet again) as inspiration for my WIP and because the movie is almost upon us! My excitement cannot be expressed in words! Eeep! 

So how was your weekend?

Saturday Six

One

The big news of the week... 

I got a new camera!

Since Justin and I will be doing some traveling in the next few months, I figured it was finally time to get a DSLR. I've wanted one for years, but I've hesitated due to the pricing. Fortunately, I scored a great deal on an older Nikon model on eBay. It's nothing fancy but I'm sorta in love! 

I'm totally holding the camera wrong, aren't I?

Two

So I've been tinkering around a little with the Nikon, snapping shots outside and whatnot. 

Um, I'm not very good? Haha. 

I'm thinking about taking a photography class (maybe with Sarah McClung!) to teach me how shutter speed, aperture, and ISO all relate together. So many numbers! So confusing to my math-challenged brain!

I haven't moved onto live subjects yet....

Three

Okay, one more picture from me? 

The sweet and fabulous Jessica Spotswood has finally returned from her book tour and I caught up with her this week. (Have you read Born Wicked yet? Why not?!)

Jess was kind enough to lend me an ARC of Leigh Bardugo's Shadow & Bone! I'm already on page 75. Such a well-drawn fantasy world! 

You can check out the amazing final cover here!

Four

Aieee! 

We are T minus 23 days from The Hunger Games movie premiere! EW just released three new photo stills from the film, and I'm especially intrigued by this one with President Snow and Seneca Crane. 

Via EW.com. Image credit: Murray Close.

I'm really glad that the director added a scene with President Snow at his rose garden. (Yeah, I'm nerding out here, aren't I? Come on, you love it. Ha!) Anyway, I can't wait to see how the movie and book differ. 

Nerding out over...

Five

Oh! My lovely friend Erin Bowman has a fantastic blog about writing, reading, and designing, which is one of my favorites. Unfortunately, Erin's Google Friends Connect got cut so if you follow her via GFC or your Blogger dashboard, please go here so you can resubscribe! 

Seriously, you don't want to miss Erin's posts! Especially her monthly book reviews, which I simply love. 

Six

Finally, please tell me what you're up to this weekend! Any fun plans? Just hangin' out? 

Since my week was rather busy, I plan on an easy weekend, full of revising and learning photography things and trying to whittle down my pile of library books. (Scorpio Races! State of Wonder! The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight!) What's in your reading pile, by the way? 

Have a fantastic weekend!

It's Not Easy Being Married to a Writer

Wedding Day! Bahaha, you're stuck with me now!

I feel bad for my husband sometimes.

As a wife, I have dozens of faults. I'm messy, you see. I don't fold laundry. (Hence, the mess.) I struggle with selfishness. I'm grumpy when I wake up and sometimes I'm grumpy for no reason at all.

Also, I snore. That can't be fun.

It can't be easy being married to me, due to the reasons mentioned above. And let's not forget my weakness for pricey shoes--ahem, pretty shoes!--and my tendency to clam up whenever Justin and I have a serious conversation. (Silent Treatment, how I cling to thee.)

But it really must be hard to be married to me because I am a writer. Writing is my dream, my love, my oldest and most sacred passion. I can't imagine a life, or even a day, without journaling or note-taking or book-scribbling. It's a part of my atoms.

It also happens to make me a little cuckoo.

You know what I mean, right? The ups and the downs, the snot-filled meltdowns. The sob sessions that last for hours, not to mention the hundreds of dollars poured into conferences and critiques and that darn SCBWI annual fee. There's also my little habit of drifting elsewhere whenever we're watching TV or gobbling sandwiches at Potbelly's. My brain is a constant haze of characters and plots and whatnots. It's almost like there are three people in in this marriage: him, me, and my books.

And yet, through it all, Justin takes me as I am. He doesn't have to support my cuckoo-brained dreams, but he does. He always has and I know he always will, even if it turns me into a cry-faced creature who can't stop wailing.

I haven't forgotten all the times he has been there for me....

- - - - -

One time, in 2009, I was querying my very first novel. I had been querying for about nine months and my timeline went something like this: rejection, rejection, REJECTION, REJECTION! Nothing but polite Thanks but no thanks.

But then...but then...I garnered a full request from a Very Important Agent! I squealed. A lot. In my mind, I mapped out all sorts of wondrous possibilities that included agency contracts and book contracts and bags o'money.

So it makes sense that my heart collapsed when I received the dreaded Thanks but no thanks email. I proceeded to spend two hours crying on Justin's shoulder, sobbing onto his shirt, telling him I was no good. I believe this is what I looked like:

Sofa AKA tissue

And Justin simply sat there--for two hours--holding me and wiping my tears and telling me that I had to believe in myself because I would get an agent.

He didn't give up on me. I'm so glad he didn't. Because he was right.

- - - - -

Let's backtrack a little further to 2008, when Justin and I had been married for about a year. 

We were living in North Carolina. Justin was a specialist in the Army while I was trying my hand at freelance writing. Our bank account was on the slim side, mostly because my freelancing paid me in pennies or oftentimes nothing at all. (Although I did get a gift certificate to Barnes & Noble once. Score!) 

One night, I could tell something was troubling Justin. He looked so tired, as if he had an anchor hanging between his shoulder blades. It took some prodding but I finally got him to open up. 

"What's wrong?" I asked.
"Nothing, just financial stuff."
"Um." (<-- commence Caroline clamming up.) 
"I've been thinking about getting another job. I can work nights somewhere."
"Why don't I just get a real job?" I said. "You already work, like, ten hours a day."
"I know but...."
"But what?"
"I want you to pursue your dreams." 

I really lucked out in the marriage department, didn't I?

(And no, he did not get a second job! I would not let him do that!) 

- - - - -

There are so many more examples of Justin's supportiveness and helpfulness. He's simply...amazing. The best husband I could have asked for, and the best friend I always wished for. Thank you, dear, for everything and more! I don't say that enough, do I?

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Much, much love.

Why Can't Women Support Each Other?

For the most part, I think women are really cool. 

Most of my friends are women. Most of the people I love are women (my sister, my niece). And most of the people I admire are women as well. 

Like Eleanor Roosevelt. 

And Elizabeth Cady Stanton. 

And Georgia O'Keefe. (Oh, her art makes my heart sing!) 

I guess I've been lucky in that I've always felt supported by the women around me. When I got into my top-choice college, my mom cheered me on. When I landed my first job, my friends were there to celebrate. I've been blessed to have such an awesome network of women-family and women-friends who lift me up when I'm down and who shout Hurrah! when I've done something cool. (Which isn't all too often. I'm not that cool!)

And so...I simply don't get it when women fail to support each other. Especially when one of us does something really, really cool.

Case in point: Janet Evans. A competitive swimmer, Evans won three gold medals at the '88 Seoul Olympics, at the wee age of 17. She went on to swim in two more Olympics, earning another gold and a silver medal before retiring from the sport.

But now, after a fourteen-year hiatus, at age 40, Janet Evans is making her return to competitive swimming. She has even qualified for the U.S. Olympic trials in June where she will race in the 400- and 800-meter freestyles.

Did I mention that she has two little kids as well?

So yeah, as I was reading this NYTimes article about Evans, I was simply blown away. A 40-year-old woman making a comeback in a sport that she dominated as a teenager! And she's a mother to boot! She's such an inspiration. I mean, this woman has drive and she has guts. She's the sort of person I'd like my future kids to look up to.

But not everyone feels the same. From the Times:

Evans said she had been criticized on social networking sites for training when she should be home with her children. But she has set up her schedule so her main swimming workout takes place in the morning, from 5:30 to 7:30, so she can make it home in time for breakfast. Her crazy hours are not lost on her daughter, who recently asked, “Why do you swim in the dark, Mommy?”

*Headdesk*

That quote deflated me like a day-old balloon.

I just don't get it.

Shouldn't we, as women, celebrate what Evans is doing? Shouldn't we, as women, cheer her on?

Why can't we support one another in the choices we make?

I think that's the crux of the issue here. If a woman chooses to raise two children and train for the Olympics, I support that. If a woman chooses to stay home with her kids, I support that. If a woman chooses not to have kids, I support that too.

Why must we fight and scratch and kick at each other's choices? Why can't we, as fellow women, offer support and cheering instead?

Because that's what I'll be doing when Janet Evans competes at the Olympic trials. I'm going to turn up the volume on my TV and clap my hands and cheer her to the finish line.

She's earned it.

Friday Five

One
Holy adorable cows, I'm addicted to Pinterest!

I joined the site a few months ago and tinkered around a little at first. Meh, I thought. Seems not for me. But now, I've finally figured out how to use it and I am in love!

If you're on Pinterest, come find me!


Two
One of my favorite things about Pinterest is "pinning" things that I'm totally coveting. Here are a few items from my current Wish List:

Melie Bianco purse; Oh Joy! necklace.

Anthropologie shorts; B.P oxford flat.

Three

I also love pinning places around the world that I'd like to visit. Places like New Zealand and Belize and Croatia and Spain. Mmm, Spain....

Speaking of Spain, I'm flying to Madrid in about six weeks to meet up with Justin for his first R&R! We'll be spending nine days in country, most likely bouncing between Madrid, Barcelona, Toledo, and maybe Segovia. This will be the first time in Spain for the both of us so we desperately need recommendations! If you've been to Spain, tell us about your experiences! What must we do? Where must we eat? 

Four

Hmm, you're probably sick of me talking about Pinterest, hmm? Well...TOO BAD! Haha, kidding, kidding. (Seriously though, why aren't you on Pinterest? Let's be friends!) 

In writing news, I am almost finished with my revision for my YA alternate history, Revolutionary! I am so incredibly happy and relieved and elated to be nearly done. This book started off easy, then morphed into a demon child, and now we're finally pushing past its angsty teen years. Major props must go to my beta readers Robin, Ellen, Lynn, and my husband for giving me brilliant notes so I could whip this baby into shape! 

Still, I'm sure I'll be doing more revisions in the future. They never are fully done, huh? 

Five

So, this weekend! What are your big plans? I'm doing some revisions today, and meeting up with some friends on Saturday and Sunday. I also hope to tackle a few books, like State of Wonder, which I picked up at the library yesterday. How about you? What are you up to this fine February weekend?

Love, Books, and Superlatives!

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

(And for all of you 30 Rock fans, happy Anna Howard Shaw Day!)

Since Justin is in the lovely land of Afghanistan this fine V-Day, I sent him the following e-card to show him just how much I love him:

Ah, yes, my love runs deep! I'm such a nice wife, aren't I? That's simply expected out of my vows---if or when you become a zombie, please devour your spouse last. 

Anyway, in honor of Valentine's Day, I thought I'd offer some love-related superlatives to books that I've read and adored. Without further adieu...

MOST ADORABLE ROMANCE

Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins

Ah, this book! I adore this book! It has everything a girl like me could want: a year in Paris, a shop full of macarons, and a very handsome English-accented boy with a French name. I sighed and giggled and blushed through this novel, and just looking at the cover makes me smile. Simply swoon-worthy! 

BEST KISS

Born Wicked by Jessica Spotswood

There are a lot of steamy kisses in books. There are a bunch of sweet kisses too. It's hard, however, to find a golden combination of the two: steamy and sweet and well-written to boot. But Jessica, my friend and fellow cupcake devourer, has accomplished such the thing in Born Wicked! That first kiss between Cate and Finn? Pure magic! And even better: feathers. I hope I'm not giving too much away with that one word---it is in the book trailer, after all!---but yeah. Feathers. Awesomeness.

MOST AGGRAVATING COUPLE

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Look, I love The Great Gatsby. It's one of my favorite books---and it happens to be set in the 1920s, my favorite historical era---and I really think it could be The Great American Novel, if such a thing exists. But. I. Hate. Daisy. Yeah, yeah, she's a product of her culture and blue-blooded upbringing but I still want to strangle her. And I might as well strangle Jay Gatsby too for falling for her in the first place! 

I mean, why, dude? Daisy is married for one thing---to a complete douche-bag, I might add---and she's mega superficial for another. (The girl cries over dress shirts, for heaven's sake!) Come on, Gatsby. You're rich now. Find someone who appreciates you! 

BEST ROMANCE OVERALL

Possession by A.S. Byatt

*Sigh* This is one of the best books I've read, which is ironic because I almost didn't finish it. 

See, back in 2003, I was assigned to read Possession for my Contemporary British Literature class and I just couldn't get into it. I was bored, frankly. But I had to read the book for class---and my friend Alexis told me that the pace picked up around page 100---so I kept on trucking...and I fell hard for this novel. 

At the heart of the book, there lies not one but two romances. The first romance is between two Victorian poets, who fall in love through poems and stolen kisses and who end up having a passionate-yet-clandestine love affair. The second romance is between two modern-day scholars, who unravel the secrets of the aforementioned Victorian lovers through old letters and long-lost diaries. It's simply a stunning and heartbreaking and heart-singing read. Even today, eight years after my class, I still marvel at the plot detail that A.S. Byatt conceived and delivered.  

Happy Valentine's Day! What are your favorite couples and romances in literature? And what are your plans for tonight? As for me, I'm going shopping to buy this Valentine-appropriate sweater, sipping hot cocoa, and watching a rom com. How 'bout you? 

The Manuscript That Ate My Soul and Drove Me Bonkers

Months upon months ago, I had a spark for a new book. An A-Ha moment, in Oprah-speak. And so, I opened up my little netbook and started a new document in Word and I let the words rush out of my fingertips. I think I wrote about two-thousand words that first night.

It was a YA alternate history novel. I called it, "Revolutionary."

And I loved it. 

I loved how easily the story came to me. It flowed out of me each time I sat down to write, unlike my other books which required chainsaws and wrenches to yank out of my brain. Gruesome, huh? But not Revolutionary. The voice sang to me on that very first page, along with the characters and the plot. Each day I cranked out one or two thousand words, easy peasy, which was crazy since I'm usually a very slow, very sloth-like drafter. I was utterly convinced that I'd finish the draft in a couple of months, polish it up a little, and send it along to Agent Jim. 

Alas. 

First, I finished the book. That part was awesome. But then...brilliant Agent Jim helped me realize that I needed to switch the POV from first present to third past. The voice just wasn't working. Yeah, all of that easy-peasyness? Not so easy peasy anymore. My book needed a major rehaul.

Cue this:

And this:

And some of this: 

Life lesson for Caroline: Beware of easy peasy! Oftentimes, this means that you're being overly confident! 

So yeah. That was a hard pill to swallow. And I can't say that switching the POV fixed everything in the book. Because, ahem, I'm currently working on "Revolutionary Version 6." Yes, SIX! My easy-peasy manuscript has turned out to be rather difficult. The voice had to change, the romance needed help, the character arcs needed fleshing out, and a lot of other things in between. Now, it's sort of funny  to read my very first draft and laugh at myself for thinking I was *thisclose* to being done with it. 'Cause it was a hot mess!

Humility. I haz it now. 

As I near the finish-line for this revision---just one more round of beta readers before I send this thing to Jim!---it has been helpful for me to look back on these months upon months of drafting and revising, and to figure out what I've learned. 

1. A good agent is worth his weight in gold. 

I'm really, really grateful for Jim. Some agents may have taken a look at Revolutionary Version 1 and told me to work on something else. Or cut me off altogether. But he never did such a thing. He gave me insightful comments and he gave me some tough love. 'Cause I'm sure it isn't easy to tell a writer to change the entire POV of a novel, but I needed to hear that. In the end, the book is so much stronger for it. And that's because of Jim's sharp editorial eye. 

2. Get feedback sooner rather than later.

I have a perfectionist tendency to make my manuscript just right before I can send it to beta readers. In other words, I procrastinate. I tweak some words here, switch some paragraphs there, pretty much crippling myself because I'm striving for perfection but I can't achieve it. And so, with my next manuscript, I know I have to let go earlier on, to send my book to my readers so I can get a jump-start on the big structural changes. 

3. But don't get feedback TOO soon!

Haha. Let me explain. On one hand, I definitely need to let go of my precious baby---er, manuscript---but I've also found that if I send out a few chapters to my critique group early on, I just end up fiddling with those chapters instead of finishing the draft. And so, I think my critique-process will change with my next book. Instead of sending out my book in little pieces, I'll send it out in greater chunks (maybe 50 pages?) or perhaps just send out the whole darn thing. 

Anyway, back to the revision cave I go! But what about you? What are some lessons you've learned with your drafting/revising process?

Wednesday Wants

want one

{From Paper Source}

I'm usually not a fan of heart-shaped things, but these measuring cups from Paper Source are too sweet to pass up! Just looking at them makes me want to throw on an apron, whip up some cookie dough, and spend the afternoon making sugar cookies. Who wants to come over?

want two

{From Catbird NYC}

Speaking of sweet things, I really love this teeny tiny ruby ring from Catbird NYC. I'm not much of a jewelry girl---I don't own any bracelets or earrings, and I usually like to keep my fingers naked---but this ring is calling out to me. I love the super-skinny band and the barely-there stone. Simplicity!

want three

{From Jason Wu for Target}

Oh, la la! Love, love, love. On February 5th, be sure to mark your calendars because the Jason Wu collection debuts at Target. Wu is a posh Taiwanese-American designer who has dressed the likes of Michelle Obama and Blake Lively, and he has teamed up with Target to offer a fun-and-springy line of skirts, dresses, and blouses. I'm seriously drooling over this dress. 

Although, admittedly, I'm a tad nervous about wearing white. It brings back memories of a certain white skirt that I once wore to my internship at the good ol' Air and Space Museum. I thought I was being all stylish and cute---hey, I was 22!---but then I proceeded to drop my Ben & Jerry's chocolate ice cream cone all over myself. Chocolate! On white cotton! Oh dear. That was very embarrassing....

                                                      

want four

{From Amazon}

And lastly, in book wants, I'm definitely intrigued over The Snow Child. I was strolling through the New Literary Fiction section at Barnes & Noble last night and my eyes immediately fastened onto this lovely cover. (The power of eye-catching artwork!) The prose inside was equally lovely: sparse, vivid, and just a tad haunting. The author, Eowyn Ivey, has a knack for simple-yet-beautiful prose and, yes, she was named after the character in Lord of the Rings. :) 

Also, be sure to check out the book trailer for The Snow Child. It's one of the best book trailers I've seen!

So what about you? What are you drooling over this fine Wednesday morning?

Reading Nooks and Book Reviews

I'm curled up in bed on this lazy Saturday afternoon, reading and revising and staring off into space. As much as I love my bed (any bed, really!) and my warm comforter, I'd love to carve out a little reading nook to call my own. Like these!

Or this lovely outside nook:

Maybe one day I'll win the lottery and move into a seaside cottage with lots of land with old fruit trees (and a mini horse! and a koala!) and I'll make myself a cool reading nook.

'Cause that can totally happen. 

On a book-related note, I thought I'd give a quick rundown of what I've been reading the past month. Between long plane rides and rainy Seattle afternoons, I've been able to consume quite a few novels and science-y books. A few them include: 

CINDER by Marissa Meyer

While Justin and I were in Washington state, I was lucky enough to attend Marissa Meyer's book launch in Tacoma. (Justin was very kind to tag along. And he waited in the 90-minute line with me! A true husband.) Marissa is simply lovely and I proceeded to gobble her debut novel the next day, in about five hours.

My favorite part? The world-building. I have never encountered a setting like this before, a futuristic Beijing populated with robots and palaces, with cybernetic girls and imperial princes.  I simply loved getting lost in Cinder's world. 

The Emperor of All Maladies by Siddhartha Mukheejee

Sometimes I get in a mood where I only want to read science books. Which is a litte perplexing since I despised my chemistry and physics classes in high school. (I don't care about velocity! Or the structure of atoms!) The weird ironies of life, huh? 

The Emperor of All Maladies caught my eye because it received all sorts of praise from book reviewers. It also won the Pulitzer. In essence, it is a "biography" of cancer: how mankind has dealt with this awful disease, how we've defined it, and how we've battled to cure it. Admittedly, the book got pretty darn technical in some chapters but I just skipped those parts because this book really is good. 

It amazed me  to learn how cancer has been treated in the past. Gruesome, really. In the 1800s, doctors used to "cure" breast cancer by chopping off a woman's breast along with the muscles that extended to the collarbone, effectively causing the woman to droop over for the rest of her life. But, despite the gruesome details, this book truly honors the hundreds of doctors who devoted their lives to curing cancer and the thousands of patients who volunteered for these radical---and sometimes deadly---new treatments. A must-read. (But, yeah, skip those dry chapters.)

Starters by Lissa Price

I was lucky enough to snag an e-galley of this much-buzzed novel, which debuts in March 2012. (Thanks, NetGalley!) The premise itself is ready for a big Hollywood movie: 

In a world ravaged by war and genocide, becoming someone else is now possible. Sixteen-year-old Callie discovers the Body Bank where teens rent their bodies to seniors who want to be young again.

In a single word, this book is fast-paced. Holy mother! I couldn't stop flipping the pages on this one. The plot had me guessing at every chapter. The good guys? Not always so good. The bad guys? Not necessarily all bad. And there were some really fantastic twists at the end of the book, one of which made me go Whoa, I never saw that coming. 

Okay then, back to work! I need to finish my latest revision on my YA alternate history so I can send it to another round of beta readers. Then, onto Agent Jim! But what have you been reading lately? Any good recommendations? 

Sunday Six

One

After five weeks in Seattle, Justin and I finally arrived in DC yesterday morning. It's so good to be home. It's so very nice to sleep in our own bed, to curl up on our couch, to be surrounded by my much-missed books. 

But it's also bittersweet. Only five weeks ago, we were packing our bags, getting ready for our trip to the Keys, chatting about the beach and the sun. And now, well, everything has changed. Everything feels a bit strange. A bit off. I wish we didn't have to adjust to this new sense of normal but it's something we have to do. 

Two

On a lighter note, I'm so grateful that I could spend time with my niece, Rowan. She's three right now and being three comes with so much wonderful-ness: the little girl giggles, the pouty stubborn lips, and especially the sheer joy over the small things. Like stickers. Or candy. Or snow. Good Lord, she'd open her eyes so wide whenever she talked about snow! It was like twenty-dollar bills were falling from the sky.

Gosh, I want to be three again! 

Three

Once Rowan discovered that I had a camera on my laptop, all was lost. She especially liked making funny faces. A few of our masterpieces:

Four
On another lighter note, Justin got me a Kindle Fire as a belated Christmas present! Aside from a few kinks, I'm loving it so far, which surprises me because I was very much anti-ereader for years. (Paper books forever!) So I suppose I have ventured to the dark side... (Full review to come.)

Five
So. Some bad news. Justin is leaving for Afghanistan again, this time for six months. *Insert super sad face* But some good news? We'll get to do some traveling for his R&Rs! Right now, I'm a little enamored with Croatia, mostly because I want to visit this place:

Courtesy of Jack Brauer

Six
Well, I feel completely out of the loop in terms of blogging! What's going on with you guys? What's new? What are your reading? How's life?

Happy 2012?

Justin keeps telling me that I should post something new on my blog but I've been hemming and hawing. Truth be told, I'm not sure what to post about. More stories of Aimee? Or my little niece Rowan? Or, perhaps, delve back into the reading and writing realm?

I don't know. I guess that's why I've been avoiding my little blog for the past week. I'm not quite sure what to say, what's right to say.

But, lately, I have been thinking a lot about 2012 and what I'd like to hope for and strive for this year. I noticed that a few of my friends have chosen specific words as their New Year's goals, which I think is a fantastic idea. Of course, when it came to choosing my own word, it took me a really long time since I'm the most indecisive person in the word but I've finally settled on one.

Peace.

Peaceful emotionally. Peaceful mentally. Peaceful professionally.

2011 wasn't a very peaceful year for me and Justin. It was a year bookended by tragedy--in January we attended his father's funeral and in December we attended his sister's. And in between, there were two trips to Afghanistan for him and some major writing woes for me.

That isn't to say we were miserable, of course! Because we've laughed and we've traveled and we've loved spending time together, whether it's on the couch or at the movies or gawking at giant sea turtles in Oahu.

But...it was a trying year. And it was made even more trying because I didn't let myself feel peace. Whenever I got angry with my writing, I let those feelings stew. Whenever I got frustrated with my mom, I let that eat away at me. When I felt disappointment, I let it takeover. Overall, I'm a rather happy and positive and upbeat person but 2011 tested that.

So, yes. Peace. I need that this year. Very much so. This will be tough for me since I'm the kind of person who's ruled by her emotions. (Did any of you ever take the color personality test? Yep, I'm a blue through and through.) But I really need a sense of peace to anchor me this year, so I can get through the hard times and keep a level-head during the good ones. Whatever comes my way in 2012, I hope I can face it with grace, with humility, and with peace.

Here's to a wonderful new year. I'm really looking forward to it.

Sometimes, Life Isn't Very Fair

Sometimes, life isn't very fair.

I feel that sentiment now, in my bones, in my heart. I feel it every day, every hour even. I feel it every time I look at my niece, Rowan.

Today, I watched after Rowan while her father, Pat, was at work. We had a tea party with grandma and with Uncle Justin, and then we settled down for some cartoons. (Dora, her favorite.) At one point, Rowie climbed over to me, curling her little body next to mine, and she stared at me with her great blue eyes.

She said, "I love you, Caroline!"

And I melted. And I hugged her close. And I thought...

Life isn't fair. Aimee should be here. She should watch her little girl grow. She should wake up next to her husband. She should be here, instead of there. Here, with us. Here, with Rowan.

Can I tell you guys a little story about Aimee? I'm babbling now but it's a nice story and it shows what a kind and loving and generous person she was.

When Justin and I started talking about marriage, I told him I didn't need a fancy engagement ring. He was a soldier in the Army; I was a lowly curatorial assistant. I rationalized that it would be more practical to spend that money on furniture or bills or simply save it. Justin asked me if I was sure. I told him I was sure.

But...I'm a bit of a girly girl and engagement rings are rather pretty and it would have been nice if... Well, my practical side won out anyway.

When Justin told Aimee about our plans though, she told him she had an idea. Aimee had a diamond ring, one that meant a great deal to her. And she offered to give the diamond to her brother so, in turn, he could give it to me.

I had only met Aimee once at that point. Yet, here she was, offering up such a lovely gift. I was incredibly touched but, as I got to know Aimee more, I came to see that this was how she always was. Ready to give. Ready to smile. Ready to love.

I've worn my engagement ring every day for the past five years. It's pretty, it's lovely, just as Aimee was. And, now, every time I look at it, I think of her too.

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Thank you, everyone, for your wonderful and supportive comments, emails, and texts. I can't tell you  how grateful I am for your friendship and outreach. I know I haven't been able to respond to everyone individually (I'm workin' on it!) but I just wanted to say how much I appreciate your support. It means the world to me. It really, really does.