I don't know. I guess that's why I've been avoiding my little blog for the past week. I'm not quite sure what to say, what's right to say.
But, lately, I have been thinking a lot about 2012 and what I'd like to hope for and strive for this year. I noticed that a few of my friends have chosen specific words as their New Year's goals, which I think is a fantastic idea. Of course, when it came to choosing my own word, it took me a really long time since I'm the most indecisive person in the word but I've finally settled on one.
Peaceful emotionally. Peaceful mentally. Peaceful professionally.
2011 wasn't a very peaceful year for me and Justin. It was a year bookended by tragedy--in January we attended his father's funeral and in December we attended his sister's. And in between, there were two trips to Afghanistan for him and some major writing woes for me.
That isn't to say we were miserable, of course! Because we've laughed and we've traveled and we've loved spending time together, whether it's on the couch or at the movies or gawking at giant sea turtles in Oahu.
But...it was a trying year. And it was made even more trying because I didn't let myself feel peace. Whenever I got angry with my writing, I let those feelings stew. Whenever I got frustrated with my mom, I let that eat away at me. When I felt disappointment, I let it takeover. Overall, I'm a rather happy and positive and upbeat person but 2011 tested that.
So, yes. Peace. I need that this year. Very much so. This will be tough for me since I'm the kind of person who's ruled by her emotions. (Did any of you ever take the color personality test? Yep, I'm a blue through and through.) But I really need a sense of peace to anchor me this year, so I can get through the hard times and keep a level-head during the good ones. Whatever comes my way in 2012, I hope I can face it with grace, with humility, and with peace.
Here's to a wonderful new year. I'm really looking forward to it.