The Best Debate Ever!

I usually don't post about politics on my blog. This is because I prefer to leave that to the professionals, like NPR or the Post or the almighty Onion. But during the debate last night, my little brain started churning and I couldn't help but think...

Maybe I should plan the next debate! 'Cause I would make it completely AWESOMESAUCE! 

GIF via Buzzfeed

And so, I hereby announce the important changes that I would make to the debate!

First up, the moderator. Granted, I have to give props to Martha Raddatz and Candy Crowley but even they would pale in comparison to...

MODERATOR DUMBLEDORE!

The Hogwarts Headmaster would be a fantastic moderator, don't you think? He's judicious and even-keeled, and he can keep any political candidate (or evil dark wizard) in line. Plus, Alby has a wand. If Obama or Romney overstep their allotted time limit...CRUCIO, BITCHES! 

Kidding, kidding! Obviously, Dumbledore would never use an unforgivable curse but I'm sure he has some interesting hexes and spells in his arsenal. 

Second, the format. I liked last night's "Town Hall" style but I definitely think we could still kick it up a notch. For example, maybe the candidates should debate via song! Even better, they could slug it out like the Battle Rounds on The Voice!

Image via KnowYourMeme.com

Honestly, a singing debate could actually work! Both candidates have crooned at political events--Romney opted for an American classic while Obama chose a smooth Al Green tune--and so they both have the singing chops. Besides, who doesn't like a good sing-off?

Lastly, the candidates themselves. Let's face it. Last night's debate was certainly interesting and even entertaining at some points--but we can do better, America. I want to see more weighty issues debated and discussed. So for the next debate, I offer up a new batch of candidates!

Lord Sauron vs. Emperor Palpatine

The Debate: So You Want to Conquer the Universe/Middle Earth. Now what?

Cedric Diggory vs. Edward Cullen

The Debate: Should RPattz break up with KStew? 

Hugh Laurie vs. Robert Downey, Jr.

The Debate: Why I Should've Been Cast as Haymitch

Sarah Palin vs. Tina Fey Impersonating Sarah Palin

The Debate: I Can See Russia From My House! No Really!

Cady Heron vs. Regina George

The Debate: So whatever happened to Glen Coco?

So there you have it! The Best Political Debate Ever! 

Now, if only someone would really put me in charge...