September 3, 2009

Justin is far too normal for me

If you are scratching your head concerning the title of this post, let me explain it to you in one short sentence:

Only weird guys want to date me.

Seriously.

For example, I was hit on today by an old Eastern European nurse at my grandma's nursing home. A nursing home! A repository for old people! And he had a bushy gray moustache!

Shudder.

But at least this male nurse was nice to me. When I was in Paris back in 2003, a Middle Eastern dude working at an Eiffel Tower tourist shop actually propositioned me---as if I was some kind of cheap hooker. I believe his exact words to me were, "Hey pretty lady! You Chinese? Korean? How much? You want dollars?"

Gross.

But you know what the worst part is? Even if a guy isn't hitting on me, he's still mega creepy. Case in point: while I was shopping at Anthropologie a few months ago, a middle-aged man asked me if I would help him pick out a gift for his girlfriend.

Pretty normal, right? WRONG.

About ten minutes into our conversation, the guy turns to me and says, "You're so easy to talk to! So...do you think it's normal that my girlfriend wants to be on top all the time? I mean, she REALLY likes it."

Ewwww! Get away from me you perv! What do I look like? Some sort of raunchy Ann Landers?

Goodness. Even Elmo wants to feel me up!

Honestly, how in the world did I ever snag a cool guy like Justin?

(It must be my awesome Asian-ness.)

4 comments:

  1. Dang those are pretty good stories. I should write down some of mine although they aren't as entertaining as yours.

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  2. My theory is that there are a lot of quite normal men who think you are attractive and would hit on you if they were more crazy like the characters in these stories.

    But I'm glad you got Justin too. :)

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  3. Ew, ew, ew. I'm glad you got yourself a winner!

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  4. the emlo picture is hilarious!

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