March 4, 2011

Join Caroline's YA Mafia!

The Young Adult Blogosphere has been buzzing about the whole "YA Mafia" topic for the past few days. If you haven't heard about this, here's a brief recap according to YAHighway:

On Wednesday, Holly Black posted about the supposed "YA Mafia," assuring everyone it doesn't exist. Justine Larbalestier expanded on Holly's post, blaming the online disinhibition effect for the issue (and quoting our friend Phoebe North at length). Then a #YAMafia hashtag appeared, which some people found amusing, and others perceived as yet another threat.

Interesting, eh? Everyone's now saying stuff like, "There's no such thing as the YA Mafia!" or "That's just a silly myth!" To which I say...if the YA Mafia isn't real, then why don't we make one? 'Cause I wouldn't mind joining a mafia. I've already gotten turned down by the Russian Mob and the Chinese Triad---I guess they're not looking to hire weak Asian chicks who can't shoot a gun---so I'd love to create my own illegal organization.


Here are a few perks about joining my YA Mafia:

1.) All of the free books you want! (We have an in with a B&N supplier.)

2.) No book deal? No problem! We have certain "methods" to persuade Big 6 editors... (These methods include cupcakes, massages, and rent-controlled apartments in NYC.)

3.) If you get a snarky review of your book, I'll let you borrow my three henchmen--The Bookworms--for an evening of terror-making. They're excellent at shooting water-guns, toilet-papering houses, installing viruses onto computers, and destroying a writer's muse. In a word, they are evil. Bwahaha.

4.) All members of my mafia get to talk like Marlon Brando in The Godfather. "Eh? *Mumble mumble mumble.*"

5.) All members also have the opportunity to create a Mafia alias for themselves. For instance, my mafia name is Vito. You may choose aliases like Big Tuna, Smoots, Three Finger Joe, or Babyface Jones. The world is your alias-making oyster!

Pretty good perks, right? You're dying to choose a mafia alias, aren't you? So now we get to the nitty gritty stuff. This is what you gotta do to join my club:

1.) Follow me on Twitter. Yeah, you better be followin' my tweets! If not, watch your back...I'll throw gum at your hair.

2.) Make me cookies. I, Vito, prefer oatmeal chocolate chip. Straight from da oven.

3.) Swear a blood oath to the YA Mafia. On second thought, blood oaths sound gross and unsanitary. Pinky swear, then?

Like I said, I think my YA Mafia is gonna be pretty damn awesome!

So who wants to join? :o)

17 comments:

  1. I'm definitely in! My mafia name is now and forever will be: Sweet P. Don't worry, your cookies are on the way. :)

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  2. Free YA books would be awesome. I don't have to kill anyone though, do I? Maybe just send in a few paranormal creatures to do our dirty work? :D

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  3. Pretty sure cupcakes are the key to controlling publishing. I'd hate to have to "ice" someone, if you know what I mean... put the "frosting" on them? Yeah. *cracks knuckles*

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  4. I know a few paranormal creatures, Stina! But I'm allergic to non-book violence. So that might count me out, huh?

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  5. hahaha, cookies cinched it. You share, right?!

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  6. I am SO IN your mafia. Like Flynn, baby. :)

    Can I be Big Tuna? Just thought it sounded appropriate. Especially since I'm 5'2"... *dies laughing*

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  7. Oooooh, I'm in! The cupcakes on their way might be a bit burnt, but I offer my (non-burnt) pinky to you in reconciliation:
    *holds out pinky*
    *drones* From here on in I will be known as... Y CINTEGRATION!
    ...
    ...
    (Don't ask me what that means. I just thought it sounded cool.)

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  8. Bootlegged Nutella cupcakes just like momma used to make? Hey, fuggedaboudit!

    Sign me up. If anyone looks sideways at the YA Mafia they get a custard pie in the schnozz - Bugsy Malone style.

    Thanks for the Friday funny, Caroline.

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  9. Ooh, can I be Surly Jane?

    ...Wait, no, that's my pirate name.

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  10. I'm in. Since we're neighbors, I can probably even hand-deliver the cookies. Though since I'm not exactly a pro in the kitchen, I can't promise they'll be *good* cookies...

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  11. ha. I'm in. Does virtual cookies count? :)

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  12. I'm in. ;-D You're in luck--I bake.

    And as far as names, can't tell you mine cause then I'd have to kill ya. LOL.

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  13. I'm totes in! Just call me Big Q :) And oatmeal choc. chip, no problemo. "Baker" is my middle name--so I guess call me Big Baker Q...

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  14. I'm totally in too!

    Awesome post!

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  15. Thanks for the funny read. Can I still be in if I'm not on Twitter? Did I just reveal how chronically uncool I am?

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  16. Hey Vito, I'm all in.

    My YA Mafia name is Cuddles "The Killer" Costello.

    I don't use an oven but I do follow Vito on Twitter. Don't get in my way while I'm writin', see. Or I'll have to do somethin' bad to ya.

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  17. HEY! This was my idea! You totally stole it. Now I'm gonna have to send my Mormon Mafia buddies to beat up your cupcake eating buddies.
    Unless . . . You wanna join forces. Anybody that crosses us will end up dead . . .
    In one of our books.
    Or at very least with a very big zit.

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