On Wednesday, Holly Black posted about the supposed "YA Mafia," assuring everyone it doesn't exist. Justine Larbalestier expanded on Holly's post, blaming the online disinhibition effect for the issue (and quoting our friend Phoebe North at length). Then a #YAMafia hashtag appeared, which some people found amusing, and others perceived as yet another threat.
Interesting, eh? Everyone's now saying stuff like, "There's no such thing as the YA Mafia!" or "That's just a silly myth!" To which I say...if the YA Mafia isn't real, then why don't we make one? 'Cause I wouldn't mind joining a mafia. I've already gotten turned down by the Russian Mob and the Chinese Triad---I guess they're not looking to hire weak Asian chicks who can't shoot a gun---so I'd love to create my own illegal organization.
Here are a few perks about joining my YA Mafia:
1.) All of the free books you want! (We have an in with a B&N supplier.)
2.) No book deal? No problem! We have certain "methods" to persuade Big 6 editors... (These methods include cupcakes, massages, and rent-controlled apartments in NYC.)
3.) If you get a snarky review of your book, I'll let you borrow my three henchmen--The Bookworms--for an evening of terror-making. They're excellent at shooting water-guns, toilet-papering houses, installing viruses onto computers, and destroying a writer's muse. In a word, they are evil. Bwahaha.
4.) All members of my mafia get to talk like Marlon Brando in The Godfather. "Eh? *Mumble mumble mumble.*"
5.) All members also have the opportunity to create a Mafia alias for themselves. For instance, my mafia name is Vito. You may choose aliases like Big Tuna, Smoots, Three Finger Joe, or Babyface Jones. The world is your alias-making oyster!
Pretty good perks, right? You're dying to choose a mafia alias, aren't you? So now we get to the nitty gritty stuff. This is what you gotta do to join my club:
1.) Follow me on Twitter. Yeah, you better be followin' my tweets! If not, watch your back...I'll throw gum at your hair.
2.) Make me cookies. I, Vito, prefer oatmeal chocolate chip. Straight from da oven.
3.) Swear a blood oath to the YA Mafia. On second thought, blood oaths sound gross and unsanitary. Pinky swear, then?
Like I said, I think my YA Mafia is gonna be pretty damn awesome!
So who wants to join? :o)
