July 1, 2010

Adventures in Twilight-land

WARNING: A couple spoilers ahead!

My friend and I caught the 7:00PM showing of "Eclipse" last night.

At 6:20, we arrived at the theater.

At 6:30, we staked claim to our seats.

And at 6:45, we groaned VERY LOUDLY when a woman plopped down right next to us—with a two-month-old baby wriggling in her arms.

My friend and I exchanged glances. And we exchanged a few more groans. It was too late to find new seats—the theater was full and we had nowhere else to move. So we prepared ourselves for a terrible viewing experience.

But little did I know...

To my utter amazement, the baby didn't let out one peep during the movie. She didn't cry. She didn't yell. She didn't scream.

But do you know who did cry and yell and scream during the film?

The forty-something lady sitting in back of me.

Oh my goodness. The crying! The yelling! The screaming! I think she might have been watching a screening of "The Exorcist."

Every time Jacob appeared in the movie, she went "WHOOOO! OH YEAH!"

Every time Bella kissed Edwared, she shouted "UH HUH! THAT'S RIGHT!"

Every time Edward mentioned marriage, she shouted "NOT UNTIL YOU HAVE SEX FIRST!"

The woman also loved to clap. She clapped for kisses, she clapped for fight scenes, and she clapped when the movie theater was totally silent. And then she'd kick the back of my friend's seat with her overflowing excitement.

Holy cow.

So I definitely learned my lesson. When it comes to Twilight screenings, a little tiny baby is absolutely nothin' compared to a crazed, hormone-driven middle-aged woman.

*Note: I'm actually not a big Twilight fan. I prefer my female protagonists to be kickass like Katniss from THE HUNGER GAMES rather than angsty and flimsy like Bella. But the movie was pretty good! It was entertaining and sometimes even funny.

**Another note: I sort of cringed when Edward proposed to Bella and all of the young girls in the audience absolutely swooned over it. I wanted to shake all of them and say, "Getting engaged in high school is NOT a good idea! And neither is marrying a dude who loves the scent of your blood!"


  1. LOL Loved this post - havent seen it - prob wont until it's out on dvd (and my library will buy it)

    but I am so easily amused by how crazy everyone goes over this! LOL.

  2. Yeah, my husband said he wouldn't go to another Twilight with me- apparently he's seen too many werewolves and vampires with their shirts off to last a lifetime.

    So it looks like I'll have to wait until it's out on DVD. But then I won't have the screamer in the row behind me. :)

  3. Ha - Caroline this made me laugh out loud. I was supposed to go to the movie with the same group of Mom's who went to the last one with me. Imagine, a theater of teenagers and then a row of thirty-something mom's gawking at the screen. Embarassing. Anyway, that exact same thing happened to me at a scary movie John and I went to see. The woman behind us kept screaming "Oh no he didn't" when the killer attacked somebody and every time someone tried to run from him, she screamed "don't run that way you stupid %$#@!" What a nightmare. Anyway, I probably won't see it until DVD now but glad to hear a firsthand account of how it was:-)