May 21, 2010

Surviving Rejection Week! -- How Do You Cope?

Surviving Rejection Tip #4: Gorging on ice cream, drinking lots of whiskey, throwing away your laptop--choose your poison to cope with disappointment!

If you've followed my blog this past week, you have probably noticed the numerous rejections I've received in my life. Rejections on essays, rejections on queries, rejections on manuscripts. My goodness, how much disappointment can one girl take?!

When I get dejected and depressed over a particularly heartbreaking rejection (I shake my fists at you, Washington Post!), I go through a little ritual to help me feel better. It involves three basic steps:

1. Cry

As you've noticed on my blog, I cry A LOT when I get rejected. It doesn't take very much to get my tear ducts flowing--my eyes seem to well up automatically whenever I read the words, "Thank you for sending me your manuscript, but...." Yeah, I don't have very thick skin.

But crying always helps me to feel better. After a couple minutes of sniffling into my blanket, I can pick myself up and move on with my day. I don't know what it is, but crying is like an emotional band-aid for me.

2. Eat

Yep, I'm one of those girls who wolfs down a half-gallon of brownie ice cream whenever I get depressed. (No bowls, please. I'll just eat out of the container, thank you very much.) Obviously, this isn't the healthiest way to cope with rejection, but it sure does taste good.

In high school, I tried out four times for a solo part in my school's rock 'n roll show. But each year, I was always delegated to the chorus or a back-up role. When I didn't get a solo during my senior year--my very last chance--I collapsed onto my bed and shoveled nine Ferrero Rochers down my throat. Sure, I might have gained a couple pounds, but those chocolates made me forget about my rejection for about thirty minutes!

Now, I do NOT cry and eat at the same time. I try to avoid looking like this at all costs:

3. Slap myself in the face and get back on the horse.

Sometimes I let myself take a break from querying after a few rejections. Most of the time, however, I force myself to put myself back out there. For me, it's easier to forget about my disappointment if I replace it with the excitement of sending out more queries. Soon, my sadness ebbs away as I look forward to hearing back from another batch of agents or editors. And if they happen to reject me, I repeat the process all over again!

So how about you? How do you deal with rejection? Do you have any rituals?

8 comments:

  1. LOL. Love that pic, by the way. :-D When I receive a rejection I think about what I'll send out next and what problems can I correct on the rejected piece. I have very thick skin.

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  2. Demon Hunter,

    Ah, good way to cope with a rejection! It's much more productive than crying and eating. :o)

    Glad you like the pic! It's been really fun finding pictures to accompany my posts this week.

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  3. Woo-Hoo! I finally can post a comment! *I'm doing a seriously funny dance right now*. So, back on to the topic - I am a crier too. In fact, I laughed my @!# off a few weeks ago when you posted the picture of Dawson crying (I used to love that show. I heart Pacey)

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  4. I just got my first rejection letter! I'm still not sure what to do about it! hahah Great post, and awesome blog.

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  5. I take long walks. And hang out with my boyfriend, a funny movie and a bottle of wine. And cheese!

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  6. Thanks for the laugh and encouragement! (=

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  7. You know, I've never cried from a rejection before. I guess, I just figure that something better's just around the corner. Not to sound religious and all, but I figure everything's in God's hands. He's looking out for me and if this agent's not the right one for me, then I've been saved a lot of hassle. I know my super agent is out there. I just have to be patient. :)

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  8. Julie, that's a great way to look at rejection! I love your positive attitude. :o)

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