Adventures in...Costco

I can already tell I'm going to be a blogaphobe. Heaven help me.

Anyway, I went to Costco yesterday to buy food for my empty kitchen. It's just across the street from my apartment and the closest grocery store I could find. I went by myself too, which is an oddity at Costco where entire families and clans can be found together searching the aisles for a shank of ham or large cans of Crisco.

I liken my Costco experience to Disney's "Jack and the Beanstalk," where Mickey, Goofy, and Donald Duck feast upon the giant's gigantic dinner. Do you guys remember that movie? It was one of my favorites as a kid because I love food. The concept of jumping on top of green jello and eating peas the size of basketballs sounds awesome. I'm always hungry and there never seems to be enough food to quench my enormous appetite. But in Costco, perhaps my appetite can be quenched. Unbelievable.

Just imagine...piles and piles of lunch meat, thousands of spinach nuggets in white plastic bags, aisles of fruit danish, crates piled on top of crates of Chilean cherries, and three-pound containers of cream cheese. Mmmm, cream cheese, the perfect condominent. It can be eaten with salty things and sweet things, or just out of the tub.

I couldn't help wonder though---who needs all this food?

Caterers? No doubt. Orphanages? Yes, please. Polygamist families? Most definitely. But the average American household?

I bet if we emptied all of the Costcos in America, we could feed the entire population of Ethiopia. We have such an abundance of food in the U.S., yet people are starving everyday. It's so ironic.

Anyway, I'm happy to have a Costco so nearby, but I wonder how often I will go. I can't just stop in to pick up a toothbrush or some contact solution---unless I want a dozen toothbrushes or a gallon of contact solution. Thus, Costco is truly not for the young and single.

On a closing note, I think the plural of toothbrush should be teethbrush. Eh, eh?