Adventures in Twilight-land

WARNING: A couple spoilers ahead!

My friend and I caught the 7:00PM showing of "Eclipse" last night.

At 6:20, we arrived at the theater.

At 6:30, we staked claim to our seats.

And at 6:45, we groaned VERY LOUDLY when a woman plopped down right next to us—with a two-month-old baby wriggling in her arms.

My friend and I exchanged glances. And we exchanged a few more groans. It was too late to find new seats—the theater was full and we had nowhere else to move. So we prepared ourselves for a terrible viewing experience.

But little did I know...

To my utter amazement, the baby didn't let out one peep during the movie. She didn't cry. She didn't yell. She didn't scream.

But do you know who did cry and yell and scream during the film?

The forty-something lady sitting in back of me.

Oh my goodness. The crying! The yelling! The screaming! I think she might have been watching a screening of "The Exorcist."

Every time Jacob appeared in the movie, she went "WHOOOO! OH YEAH!"

Every time Bella kissed Edwared, she shouted "UH HUH! THAT'S RIGHT!"

Every time Edward mentioned marriage, she shouted "NOT UNTIL YOU HAVE SEX FIRST!"

The woman also loved to clap. She clapped for kisses, she clapped for fight scenes, and she clapped when the movie theater was totally silent. And then she'd kick the back of my friend's seat with her overflowing excitement.

Holy cow.

So I definitely learned my lesson. When it comes to Twilight screenings, a little tiny baby is absolutely nothin' compared to a crazed, hormone-driven middle-aged woman.

*Note: I'm actually not a big Twilight fan. I prefer my female protagonists to be kickass like Katniss from THE HUNGER GAMES rather than angsty and flimsy like Bella. But the movie was pretty good! It was entertaining and sometimes even funny.

**Another note: I sort of cringed when Edward proposed to Bella and all of the young girls in the audience absolutely swooned over it. I wanted to shake all of them and say, "Getting engaged in high school is NOT a good idea! And neither is marrying a dude who loves the scent of your blood!"