February 14, 2011

The Worst Valentine's Day Ever

For a long, long time, I hated Valentine's Day.

See, I was kind of awkward-looking in middle school, high school, and college (oh man, I totally gained the Freshman 15 and then the Sophomore 15...) so I was always Valentine-less on Valentine's Day. Whenever this holiday rolled around, I'd often duck into the library to study or lock myself in my room for a pity party. What fun it was!

During my senior year in college, I found myself without a boyfriend yet again---and most of my roommates found themselves single as well. Huzzah! At least we could suffer through Valentine's Day together, right?

So on that fateful Valentine's Day in 2004, we ordered a pizza and sat around in our living room to talk about 1.) how much we hated boys, and 2.) how much we hated our roommate Christina*. Christina, you see, was the CRAZIEST ROOMMATE on the planet. She was passive aggressive. She was a total martyr. And she loved playing the whole "My life is so hard because I can't get into the musical theater program" card. In short, we all wanted to strangle her.

But as fate would have it, Christina had managed to convince a boy to become her boyfriend, which meant even she had plans for Valentine's Day! My roommates and I---who were perfectly sane and not the least bitter---thought this was a terrible injustice.

So there we were---sitting on the couch and lamenting about boys and berating ourselves for not coming up with a better plan for V-Day. (Apparently, we thought ordering pizza would be enough.) About halfway into our conversation, another roommate of ours joined in on our pity party and we proceeded to talk about literature, which made sense since most of us were English majors or minors.

And this is when our Valentine's Day became the Worst Valentine's Day Ever.

One of my roommates, Emmy*, started talking about the novel 1984 and how it made her feel uncomfortable. (Emmy was the lone non-English major of the bunch.) The rest of us were a little taken back. 1984? Really? So we prodded Emmy a little further. Why didn't she like 1984? What was it that made her uncomfortable? We went on the offensive. Emmy got a little defensive. And finally, Emmy admitted that...

She did not think 1984 was appropriate for a high school audience.

Jaws dropped. Emotions spiked. Teeth were gnashed. We told Emmy that 1984 was a classic and she was simply too sensitive. Eventually, Emmy started crying. (Not our most shining of moments.)

That night, we all went to bed grumpy and miffed and still hating boys.

It was, seriously, the weirdest Valentine's Day experience of my life. And I don't even like 1984 that much!

So what's your worst/weirdest Valentine's Day experience? And do you have any fun plans for today? Justin and I are going to watch the King's Speech and trying out a new restaurant in Bethesda. We shall not talk about George Orwell. :)

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent. (Although "Christina" is far from innocent. She's still a crazy bitch in my book!)


  1. LOL, that is a weird Valentine's Day!

    My worst one would I guess be in high school - I hadn't ever been dating someone during Valentine's Day, so finally senior year I got my girlfriends together and organized a flower exchange where we each brought a flower for everyone in the group, so then we could be one of the people walking around with flowers all day :) And it worked -- except I got sick in first period and had to go home :( So I never got to enjoy it, lol.

  2. I think we all have a "Christina" in college. Mine was bossy treated me and my roommates like her employees.

    I'm not a huge Valentine's Day fan. I never had a boyfriend when it mattered, and now that I'm married it doesn't seem like that big of a deal. My husband, on the other hand, thinks I'm testing him when I say I don't want any flowers or jewelry.

  3. I'm reading 1984 for the first time right now (I know! where have I been?) I'm loving it, too. Sure it's bleak, but there's so much truth there.

    As for the big V. I'm not a fan of a day set in stone as a day for romance (mind you, my wife would say that's because I'm a grumps).

    My Valentine's consisted of missing my alarm, waking up late, and dashing in and out of bathroom. I barely had time to exchange cards before racing off to work for 11 hours. Even missed my kids singing in the Cathedral choir. :(

  4. I think there were some costumes involved...

  5. Hahaha. You bet there were costumes involved!! I DEMAND that you post the picture! Oh man, that was a pretty crappy semester all around, if I'm going to be honest. You and Lex were the shining light in that sinkhole.