I think my head might explode...

In the apartment below mine, there lives a dog.

A beautiful dog. A Weimaraner. The Lexus of the dog world.

Nevertheless...the damn dog WON'T STOP BARKING!

The dog barks at 5:00AM. It barks in the morning. It barks in the afternoon. It barks, barks, barks until its owners come home at 4:30PM.


Granted, I don't really blame the dog for its excessive barking. I mean, it's a Weimaraner. These dogs are bred to run long distances, to guard their families, and to hunt large game. They're not the kind of breed you just leave in your apartment, locked away in a bedroom all day.

So, it's not the dog's fault for barking out of loneliness. But man, it's driving me up the wall! At moments like these when I just want to pull my hair out, I can't help but think about one of Billy Collins' poems. Here it is:

The neighbors' dog will not stop barking.
He is barking the same high, rhythmic bark
that he barks every time they leave the house.
They must switch him on on their way out.

The neighbors' dog will not stop barking.
I close all the windows in the house
and put on a Beethoven symphony full blast
but I can still hear him muffled under the music,
barking, barking, barking,

and now I can see him sitting in the orchestra,
his head raised confidently as if Beethoven
had included a part for barking dog.

When the record finally ends he is still barking,
sitting there in the oboe section barking,
his eyes fixed on the conductor who is
entreating him with his baton

while the other musicians listen in respectful
silence to the famous barking dog solo,
that endless coda that first established
Beethoven as an innovative genius.

Such a fantastic poem, eh? And do you want to know my favorite part of it?

It's the title: "Another Reason Why I Don't Keep a Gun in the House."


Of course, I am not going to harm this dog in any way, but I really wish it would stop barking...