Something Strange About "The Girls Next Door"

Once upon a time in a place called Southern California, there lived a very old man and his three beautiful bunnies. All of them lived in a very big mansion with a pool, a zoo, and dozens of bedrooms. The three beautiful bunnies each had their own room and sometimes they would share it with the very old man. And even though the very old man was as old as a great-grandpa, the three beautiful bunnies loved him because he was rich and famous and swallowed a blue pill with every meal.

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As I flipped through the channels this weekend, I happened across an interesting reality show called "The Girls Next Door," which chronicles the lives of Hugh Hefner and his three girlfriends. After watching the show for ten minutes, I came to the conclusion that the show consists solely of bleached-blonde hair, fake boobs, and high-pitched giggles. I don't recall the names of the girls (it's hard to remember a face when it's obstructed by two gigantic breasts) but for the sake of this blog I will deem them Candy, Bambi, and Maureen.

In this particular show, Candy and Bambi don their bunny suits for a photo shoot. Maureen, for some reason or another, doesn't want to be a bunny and doesn't want to be part of the shoot. This confuses Candy and Bambi, who are often confused anyway.

"Why doesn't Maureen want to put on this cute bunny suit?" Candy breathes huskily.

"I have no idea," huffs Bambi as she tries to squeeze her double-D's into her suit.

"I just don't understand Maureen sometimes," Candy says, "It's an absolute honor to wear the Playboy bunny suit."

Bambi nods. She still can't get the zipper closed.

"I mean, when I wear my suit I feel so important. Not every woman has posed in Playboy, you know what I mean?"

Bambi faints. Her boobs are too big. They crushed her lungs.

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(OK, so Bambi didn't really faint, but it did take the strength of two gay men to finally get her zipper closed.)

"The Girls Next Door" brought up a few questions in my mind:

*Doesn't it bother these girls that they have sex with an 80 year-old man?

*Doesn't it bother these girls that they have to share this 80 year-old man with two other women?

*Why does "Big Love" get so much more media attention than "The Girls Next Door"? "Big Love" may chronicle the life of a man and his three wives, but "The Girl Next Door" has so much more to offer---an old fogey, three blonde girlfriends, and six enormously fake breasts.

*Mommy, where do Playboy bunnies go when they grow old and wrinkly and their boobs deflate?

And a final comment: It is commonly believed that the man has subjagated the woman throughout history---judging her by her beauty while ignoring her intellect. How interesting then that in our feminist age, it is the woman herself who is propagating this notion.