Don't Stop Believin'

About a year ago, I received a rejection from one of the top agents in the industry. The email itself was short and polite. Something along the lines of, "Although we liked X and Y about your book, we don't feel like it's right for our list at this time." 

Just a couple of sentences. I was crushed. 

I'd received rejections before (over forty, in fact) but this was the first time I had gotten one on a full manuscript request. It hurt like the seventh pit of hell, and I ended up crumpling into the arms of my husband. I cried for over an hour that night. Tears. Snot. The works. (The sleeve of my sweater was doused in bodily fluids by the end of the evening.) In a desperate attempt to make me feel better, my sweet husband looked me in the eye and said, "Maybe you should take a break from this writing thing. If it's giving you so much grief...." 

His words made total sense, but my entire body rebelled against the sentiment. Give up writing? Give up on my book? NEVER! Despite the sadness wracking through my body, I believed in my little book. I believed in it a whole lot. Sure, maybe it needed more work---okay, it needed a lot of work---but I wasn't going to give up on it. Over my dead and out-of-shape body!

Almost a year has passed since that night but I still think about it quite often. I'm really, really glad that I didn't give up. And I'm really, really glad that I kept revising and rewriting and revising my manuscript. Because four months later, I received three offers of representation. And now, my book is on submission to editors. Of course, I realize that my book may never sell...but I remain mighty proud of it. It may have flaws. It may be silly and geeky. But it's mine and I believed in it and I still believe in it today. 

So the point of this post is...don't stop believing in your work. We writers are a sensitive bunch. We try to surround ourselves with a network of family, friends, and fellow writers who cheer us on when the rejections pile up and when the going gets tough. But these people aren't enough.

At the end of the day, YOU have to believe in your own work. You are the key ingredient here. You can have the entire world supporting you, but it doesn't mean a thing if you throw your hands into the air and say "I can't do this. I'm not cut out for it." You have to be your biggest cheerleader because nobody else can write this book. Only you.

Believe in your book. 
Believe in your abilities. 
Believe in you. 

*Cue Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'"*

Now go finish your book and kick some ass!

Friday Five (Or Six?)

Wow, Friday already? How did this week fly by so quickly?

1.) Damn you, Project Runway! Anger...frustration...blind rage... I hate you right now!

2.) Halloween is just around the corner but Justin and I don't have any plans yet. (Insert sad face.) Maybe this is a good thing though because I don't have a costume. Ugh, costume shopping isn't too fun anymore because I can only find sexified stuff at the store. Sexy cat. Sexy nurse. Sexy Big Bird. Too much of the sexy! I'd rather be something funny, like this:

3.) Oh, I finally carved my pumpkin! It took me, like, twenty hours to finish but I'm pretty happy with the final product. 

Hahaha. Actually, those aren't my pumpkins. Far from it. The only way I could've carved these melons is if you chopped off my hands and grafted Pablo Picasso's hands onto my bloody stump. (Gross image, I know. Happy Halloween!)

4.) Okay, okay. Here are our real pumpkins. Mine is on the left and Justin's is on the right. My pumpkin is scared of his.

5.) We finally watched "The Social Network" this week, and I thought it was extremely well-done. Good acting. Good pacing. Great story. The movie hit home for me because it really reflected my generation---how we're constantly surrounded by new ways to reach people on the web, yet what does this do to our real life connections? 

6.) Oh, I signed up for National Novel Writing Month! I'm hoping to crank out my re-write for my YA dystopian. My username is "C.T. Richmond" so come find me if you're doing it too!

So what do you guys have planned for Halloween? Doing anything fun?

Where do you get your inspiration?

Over the weekend, Justin and I finally got around to watching the new reboot of "Clash of the Titans." (Mmm, Sam Worthington...) The movie was okay, but it did give me an interesting idea for a new book.

Girl + Rome + Mythology + Murder. Kind of a historical novel but with a fantastical twist. 

Hmm, could be intriguing. 

This got me thinking about all of the book ideas bouncing around in my head. I swear, most of them simply pop into my mind out of nowhere! I can be driving down the highway or shopping for new sweaters and voila. The Shiny New Idea appears.

But these ideas have to come from somewhere, right? So for the past couple of days I've been ruminating over where these inspirations must have been born. A run-through of a few of my books:

The Cosmic Chronicles of Danny J. Singer (MG science fiction)

This was the first book I ever wrote, and it is my book currently on sub. The inspiration for this novel is pretty easy to identify: "Star Trek: The Next Generation." Yep, I'm a nerd. I idolized this show as a kid and I wanted nothing more than to enlist in Starfleet Academy. (Any coolness points I have gained over the years have just been wiped out by that last sentece.) So...I wrote this book for my fourth-grade self and for sci-fi nerds everywhere!

Forever Young (YA dystopian)

Okay, here's the premise of this novel: "In a world where nobody ages past 30, fifteen-year-old Ellie Snow isn't sure if she wants to stay forever young." 

And the inspiration: Realizing that my ten-year high school reunion was coming up in a few months and  panicking about the fact that I'll be turning the big 3-0 in a couple years.

I was pretty excited about this idea but then I found out that Justin Timberlake just signed on to make a movie with the exact same premise. *Sob* Well, onto the next idea I suppose!

The Tale of Ren and the Shuten Doji (MG historical fantasy) 

I've only written a few pages of this novel, which takes place in medieval Japan, but I'm pretty stoked about it! The inspiration for the project stemmed from an exhibit I saw at the Freer & Sackler Galleries in DC. The exhibition displayed this gorgeous painting that depicted an ancient Japanese legend---and I fell in love with the story. Now I just have to do a lot of research...

What about you guys? Where do you get your inspiration from?

Oh, to be on Oprah!

Okay, I'm kind of a big Oprah fan. Love her magazine. Love her show. In high school, I used to watch her program every afternoon while I did my math homework. Man, she almost made calculus bearable. (Almost but not quite! Calculus sucks ass.) 

So I poked around Oprah's website a couple days ago, hoping to find tickets to her show for her last season. Lo and behold, I found a link that read, "Be on the Show," and I clicked on it right away. Wahoo! I might have the chance to see Oprah live! 

Alas, the link didn't lead me to find tickets. Instead, it offered a chance to actually be on the show as a guest! Even better! But...alas again. After reading through the topics, I didn't meet any of the criteria that the Oprah staff is looking for. Case in point:

"Have You Experienced a Miracle? Please tell us about your miracle story."

Um, I can sleep a lot. About five years ago, I slept for twenty hours straight. I even called into work to say I was "very sick." Total lie. I was just tired and depressed after a terrible break-up. So...does that count?

There was also the time when I was drowning in a lake and the Virgin Mary herself pulled me out of the water. Then, a unicorn carried me to the hospital and my doctor was George Clooney from ER. But nah, that's not a miracle. I mean, unicorns are a dime a dozen.

"Do You Know the Ultimate Male Oprah Fan? Is your husband the biggest Oprah viewer out there?"

Erm, my husband kind of thinks Oprah is silly. But...I will definitely find the Ultimate Male Oprah Fan come hell or high water if this means I can go on your show! Or I can bribe my husband into pretending that he is the Ultimate Male Oprah Fan... *Schemes*

"Are You Having Sex With a Stranger You Met Online? There are millions of women using online sites to look for quick, emotionless sex with strangers. We are looking for women to share their stories." 

Aieeeeee! Seriously, Oprah staff? There are millions of women using online sites for "quick, emotionless sex?! Who are these classy, upstanding ladies? Anyhow, I certainly don't qualify for this particular topic (I prefer to find my emotionless sex from the classifieds, thank you very much!) but I would love, love, love to attend this show. Sounds juicy! 

Have any of you guys been to the Oprah show? (Totally jealous!) Or do any of you have an "in" so I can get tickets? Pretty please? Haha.

Friday Five

Numero Uno

While driving home today, I turned to the oldies station and heard Bryan Adams' song "Summer of '69." Wah? Since when did Bryan Adams become old people music?! He was, like, so popular in the early 90s!  

Numero Dos

Did anyone else watch Project Runway last night? Go Mondo! Go Mondo! Fingers crossed tightly that he takes the prize next week. He really deserves it.

Ugh, I hate Gretchen! *grumble grumble grumble* Why is she hugging Michael C. when she spent the entire season lambasting him? Grrr... I'll give her the evil eye for the entire episode next week. 

Numero Tres

Thanks everybody for your opinions on my new website! I really appreciate all of the comments and advice, and I've been tweaking both sites ever since. I'm still struggling with which layout to choose, but I might be leaning toward Version #1 simply because I love the little waves and flag banners. I'll probably change my mind tomorrow though!  

Numero Cuatro

Yeah, I'm crazy. In a web designing fever, I created yet another layout! Ta-da...

I'm especially proud of this one because I built the whole thing from scratch. With the other two layouts, I used existing templates and tweaked them to my own liking. But with this version, it's all me baby! I'm having so much fun with this stuff that I'm even thinking about signing up for a class. It would be totally fun to learn how to get down and dirty with web design! (Hmm, that sounds kind of wrong. Down and dirty?)

Numero Cinco

Justin and I bought a couple pumpkins last weekend and we will tackle the carving tomorrow. Is it lame that I plan on printing out a template to do my carving? Justin says so. *Sad face* But, but, but...I'm a perfectionist! I want to make sure my pumpkin look good.

What do you guys have planned for the weekend? Do you have any good pumpkin-carving tips? And is it totally silly to use a pumpkin template? Tell me it ain't so!

Querying vs. Being on Sub

So last week, the lovely Alexa Barry asked me a question on my blog and I've been ruminating over it ever since. The question at hand:

"So is being on sub worse than an agent having your full manuscript?" 

Hmm, my first response was a barking "Yes! It is, indeed! It's terrible!" But then I thought about it some more and I realized, "Well, maybe it's not worse than querying since it's such a relief to have an agent who doesn't think I'm totally weird for writing space stories...."

And then my brain feuded against itself in trying to find the right answer. 

I guess to be totally honest, being on sub is a lot like querying yet it feels different too. I know, I know! What a lame response! Nevertheless, here's a breakdown on my thought process:

Similarities

1. The anxiety. Sweaty palms. Nervous tics. Loss of appetite. Yep, that part is still the same. Both the querying and submissions process are quite nerve-killing!
2. The rabid email checking. When I was querying my book, I always got a flutter of butterflies whenever I saw a (1) appear in my Gmail inbox. My fingers would often tingle with excitement and dread whenever I clicked on it. And yeah, being on submission is the exact same way. I check my email, like, 40 times a day. Sometimes more. No lie!
3. The delusions of grandeur. Haha, I'm embarassed to admit this but I had total delusions of grandeur when I first started querying and then when I went on sub. Agents are going to fight for my book! Editors will offer me a six-figure deal! Fortunately, such lofty ideas are quickly quashed by the dreadful slowness of the industry. As of now, I'd be happy to sell my book for a bucket of fried chicken or a $50 gift certificate to H&M. (Just kidding! It totally better be a $100 gift certificate.)

 Differences

1. Taking a back seat. This the biggest difference, I think. During my querying process, I was constantly checking various writers' forums for information on MG agents and I was constantly tweaking my query letter. I poured a lot of sweat into that venture! But now that I'm on sub, I've taken a back seat and let Jim take over. He's the one who put the submissions list together. He's the one checking up on the editors. And he's the one who receives all of the rejections first. It's kind of nice really! Although I'm a control freak, I'm more than happy to let Jim undertake this whole sub thing.
2. The numbers go down. Okay, this is probably the worst part on being on sub. I imagine there are around 30 editors who Jim can submit my book to. (That's a complete ballpark figure.) Yipes! When I was querying, I found over 100 agents who I planned on contacting. So...100+ vs. 30. My odds aren't looking as good as before.
3. It's a relief...in a way. Sometimes my heart clenches tight in my chest because I'm afraid my little book will never see the light of day. I've worked on this novel for three years and I love it and I can't even think about shelving it. And yet, I take comfort in knowing that I have an agent who's super supportive and who won't drop me if my book doesn't sell. Having Jim on my side...it's wonderful! Even if things don't go as I hope, my book helped me to find a great agent and I'm really, really grateful for that. 

So there you have it! 

For those of you in the query trenches, what is your least favorite part about the process? For those of you on sub, what are some of the similarities and differences you have noticed?

I can't make decisions!

I've been working on a new website for the past couple of days and I could really use some advice! Although I liked my old site, I wanted something a little more professional looking. More pizzazz! More fun!

Fortunately, Wix.com has some really awesome (and free!) templates and I've been playing with a few of them. Now I'm wondering...which layout is better? 

Version #1

Version #2

I like the whimsy of Version #1, but I also like the bold background of Version #2. Yeargh! I'm so indecisive. Which one do you guys like more?

Help!

(By the way, I had a ton of fun making these sites! I'd highly, highly recommend Wix.com if you're thinking about making your own website.)

On Envy

I just got off the phone with my little sister, Kristy, and I couldn't help but feel a twinge of envy swim inside my stomach. You see, Kristy is a sophomore in college and I always get nostalgic whenever I talk to her. Ah, to be nineteen again! Giggling with my roommates, going skiing for the first time, flirting with cute boys...

*Sigh*

I guess I've always had a problem with envy. Out of the seven deadly sins, this is the one that I have struggled with the most. In the fourth grade, I totally coveted Ashley Johnson's wardrobe; and in high school, I really wanted to look like Lindsay Fox (she always got all of the boys! No fair!). Even today, I find myself staring at Justin's new iPhone and all I can think is, "I want, I want, I want!" After all, my own cell phone could surely use an upgrade...

For the most part though, I've usually been able to contain my little green monster of envy. Whenever it rears its slimy head, I try my best to banish it to the bowels of my consciousness. I focus on all of the wonderful things I've been blessed with--good friends! a full tummy! new books from Border's!--and I'm often able to suppress these spurts of envious longing.

But but but...

Writing! Oh my goodness. I've never been tested this hard before. I swear, my little envy monster leaps out of his hidey-hole whenever I start reading Publisher's Weekly or the various writerly blogs on my blogroll. I feel it each time I read stuff by Kate DiCamillo or Ann Brashares. (Man, these women can write!) And I feel it each time I read about a new book deal on Absolute Write. It chews on my shoulder and rubs it scaly hands over my eyes. Oh, how I hate Envy.

This is what I imagine Envy to look like: that freaky character from Spiderman.

Honestly, I have had enough of envy. It has plagued me for my entire life and I'm really beginning to understand why it's one of the "deadliest" sins. It weighs on you. It prevents you from being grateful for what you have. It blinds you from seeing all of the wonderful things in your life.

And I really have so much to be grateful for! A wonderful husband who makes me feel loved. A warm house to sleep in at night. A great city at my fingertips. Health, happiness, and a bit of money to keep me fed.

Yes, my life is good. So...begone Envy and never come back!

Friday Five

1.) Right above, you'll find a picture of me hangin' out with George, Tom, Teddy, and Abe. I sure do get around the block! 

Justin and I decided to stop by Mount Rushmore while we drove through South Dakota, and I thought it would be mega funny if I struck a "High School Portrait" pose at the site. You know the kind: cheesy smile, hand on hip, face resting against my fist. All I needed was one of those "Class of 2000" styrofoam cut-outs and it would've been perfect. Ah, gotta love those silly poses!

2.) In the past two months, I have spent over 20 days with my mother-in-law...and we both survived unscathed. Huzzah! 

3.) Autumn is in full swing here in Maryland, which means that every coffee shop has added some kind of pumpkin-based drink or baked good to their menu. This is, in one word, AMAZING. Pumpkin muffins! Pumpkin scones! Pumpkin spice latte! I've already gained three pounds stuffing all of this goodness down my face.

4.) It has been three weeks now that I have been on sub. (Not that I'm counting the days or anything...) I believe I am slowly losing my mind and may need to enter a sanatorium at some point in the near future. I'd appreciate visitors so please come see me in the loony bin!

5.) To keep myself from going too crazy, I had dinner last night with fellow DGLM clients Jessica Spotswood and Robin Reed. I love them! They don't look at me funny when I drone on about YA literature or the submission process--in fact, they actually like talking about such things! I wish I had met them three years ago when I was first drafting my novel. I was such a hermit back then...why? WHY?! Writer friends are a good thing!

Anyway, my weekend looks pretty low-key. Justin and I are going to do some pumpkin-carving and we might catch a movie. The Social Network, maybe? What are you guys up to? Any good movie recs?

Dream or Nightmare?

So yesterday afternoon I got a call from an editor at Simon & Schuster who absolutely loved my book.

Squeeeeeee!

I could hardly believe it! I was ecstatic. Overwhelmed. Jumping with glee. Crying and sobbing with snot running down my face.

And then I woke up.

Seriously, it was only a dream! (Boo! Hiss!)

Even worse, it was one of those dreams that felt so real that I was super confused when I first woke up. It took me a few seconds before the reality set in. "Oh...I dreamt all of that? My book didn't really sell? Where am I anyway?"

Haha. What can I say? I sleep really really deeply.

Obviously, my brain is going a little crazy since I've been out on sub for over two weeks now. My subconscious is messing with my mind, methinks. I need to find a new hobby or something. Maybe knitting or gardening or crime-fighting through the dangerous streets of Potomac, Maryland.

By the way, sorry about the long delay in posting! I've spent the past week and a half helping my in-laws move from Indianapolis to Seattle. Lots of packing. Lots of boxes. And lots of miles driven across Iowa, South Dakota, and Montana. But we're finally here in Washington! And we're flying back to Maryland tomorrow morning at 6AM! Ahhh!

Has it really been ten years?

I stopped by the mall today to pick up a birthday present for my brother and I ran into a giant mass of high school students. There were tons of them everywhere--buying clothes, sipping on iced coffee, and flirting with everyone within a thirty-feet zone.

And it made me nostalgic.

See, this mall is the exact same one that I shopped at when I was in high school. Only ten years ago, I was the one buying clothes at Abercrombie and trying on earrings at Claire's and listening to the new Lauryn Hill Cd.

Ah, the late nineties... How I miss you. (Although I don't miss the acne. Or the braces. Shudder.)

One of my favorite high school memories occurred during Homecoming of my freshman year. My friends and I hadn't gotten asked to the dance (sniff!) so we decided to go the mall instead. Once we arrived, we made an immediate beeline to the make-up counters in Nordstrom and started trying on lip glosses.

Then one of my friends decided it would be a great idea if we all chose one color (red, orange, pink, etc.) and decorated our faces in the hue. Most of us didn't want to get on board, but my friend Allison and I absolutely went to town: bright pink blush, orange lipstick, and matching eye shadow. We looked ghastly! But I still remember clutching my sides and laughing so hard when I saw Allie turn the corner in her neon get-up. Oh memories...

When I got home today, I decided to look through my old high school photo album, which I haven't dug out in years. Here are a couple of fun ones that I just scanned onto my computer because digital cameras didn't exist in 1998:

My pals Rachel, Amanda, and I dressed as hippies for our school's rock n' roll revival show.

My four best friends and me. We called ourselves the Fab Five...because we were awesome! Well, at least we thought we were.

And now for a real blast from the past... I found this picture on my mom's computer today. That's moi as a baby. I'm gigantic! It looks like my mother is holding onto a prized pumpkin.

How about you guys? What are some of your favorite high school memories or hang outs? And were any of you as fat as I was when you were a baby? I bet you can't beat my infant girth!